Kids say the darndest things…there was such a program on telly that always used to make my day. Its still true though, that they do say the darndest things. This past week I was talking to a lady who told me that her son brought her a letter he had written to her saying “dear Mother, I did not request to be born, so please ensure I am well fed, thank you.” I mean, what do you say to that?
Then I went visiting in one of the churches and since we were a tad late, we ended up sitting outside- it was so packed that we were actually seated outside the outside tent- under the sun. Lo and behold a red umbrella was whipped out and we huddled under it as we listened to the sermon. Then came this child, who found the idea of holding an umbrella quite fun, and proceeded to stand there with us. Pretty soon, he worked his way and we had to scoot a little so that he could sit with us. Now, I didn’t know his name so I asked him:
me: what’s your name?
him: eeeh?
me: where’s your mum and dad?
him: eeeh?
me: are you lost?
him: eeeh?
Yap, so I figured that language wasnt his forte, but he understood me alright. here I was thinking this kid doesnt even know me, has never seen me before and here he was enjoying himself. That’s the epitome of trust! He did spend almost the entire service seated there and only went to play with some other adventuring kids after he spied them running round a tree.
As I watched him skip away it occurred to me that if I DARED to do what he did I might be given the LOOK! I mean say I walked up to this random lady seated with her umbrella and then sat next to her she may not take it kindly or may think I am trying to hit on her or trying to pickpocket her or …the list is endless. And I may get a whack on the head if I persist. Worse still if I went and sat next to a guy with hiss umbrella and it is at this juncture that I realised that this is not probably possible as guys don’t generally carry anything that doesnt fit in their pockets.
Somewhere along the road as we grew up we lost that natural trust that all kids have. And we replaced it with a mistrust for people and a combination of fear and worry. It’s amazing that kids still go out and play and have a great time even when there is no food- that’s the life of no worries- just eat, play and sleep.
I have heard it rumoured that our ministry of education wants to do away with the KCPE exams. Well, I do not doubt their reasons but the poor kids will miss out on a great learning competitive experience. All those chaps who used to dip their legs in water so as to stay awake- all because what you got determined where you went next. And now that the syllabus keeps changing- chaps use calculators now- how now? in primary? what happened to dear old BODMAS and such? And then some useful important subjects were deleted i.e homescience- and as such they are missing out on great ventures like cooking chapatis (and eating them promptly after assessment,), knitting sweaters, making petty coats or was it petticoats? and tableclothes. And who can forget the highlight of the week- the radio class? I don’t know if the GOK still does that class anymore.
Then there was the great training ground- in those days it was called OUTSIDE. Yes, many an hour was spent playing in the great outdoors. Playstation doesnt even hold a candle to all the fun we had. I mean, I remember going to fish in some place (actually just a pond) that we called “3 pipes or three-po” and catch “fish”that actually turned out to be tadpoles that we kept until they died one by one. And then there was hookie, rounders, itcho itcho (tag) and then there was bladder etc etc. When we went to the senior half of primary school a new version of contact sport invented- chobo na ngoto- which simply meant that if someone hit a ball and it passed between your legs you got your head hit unless you touched something e.g a wall before we got to you- a scarier version of this was chobo ua- which meant the same thing only that now it could be blows and kicks and the object to save you was something exotic like the door to a class on the second floor. And of course you knew that someone could place a WANTED on you if they didn’t quite like you and that meant after class was out you simply RAN all the way home lest you get caught. All that is gone- now kids play PS3, watch WWF and Naija movies and get dependent on electronics.
And who can forget having to memorize msamiati and such like things so that we could write world class inshas? I came across one post that had me in stitches…click here to see more , but I shall paste the story here:
One day, the teacher asked students to write an Insha on ‘Umuhimu wa maji’. Let us sample inshas from two students, Mbogo and Akinyi.
Mbogo wrote,
Sikumoja ng’ombe setu silikuwa simenyota sana . Babangu aliniabia nisitware sikanywe maji. Silipofika, silikuta gatangi ka mai kamegaragario.Ng’ombe sikaanza kuania. Sikaania,sikaania sikaania mpaka babangu akatoka rugongo akakuja kianda. Akaniuliza “Mbogo, kwa nini ng’ombe sinaania hivyo? Nikamwira ni gatangi kamegaragara. Alinichapa Sana Na ndio nikajua umuhimu wa maji.
The teacher gave Mbogo 16/40 marks.
Akinyi wrote,
Samani, siku ule mimi alikuwa sule kama mitoto ndogo,
maalim nalikuwa namambia sisi ni maji ni msuri saidi
moloyo
kwa kurudo mswak, kuoga. kumupa dhian’g, diel na
hata kondoro kunywa. Sasa siku moja kama sisi iko pared,
maalim olikuja kufanya peksen kwa mitoto yote. olipokuwa
anapeksen, mitoto moja olipatkana na ochafuuuu! ya singo,
maraten’g ti! Omera! mitoto alikula boka, rua! rua! rua!. Na saa
huo huo, misichana ilikubwa ya klas ya juu, mara moja
omesatumwa gi ndo kukelo pi ya kuosa hii mitoto chaf
pared ka! Ai yawa!
Hee! mi na mambia wewe, alioswa na ao ao msichande
wakubwa hapo kwa parade duk sikita ,thiringny watu yote akiona.
Mimi aliona ayub sana kwa yeye. Chakore chieng’no, mimi
olikata suruale ni
fadhal mimi ooge kwa riba dala kusinda kuoswa na msichana sikul, mbele ya pared.
Ni siku mimi otasaau ya kuwa maji en muim!
Akinyi got 32/40!!!!
Anyway. I had a reminder that the cost of living is going up when I overheard some gentlemen outside a public toilet decrying the fact that the cost of usage had doubled from 10- 20kshs, the management remained tight lipped but says it is due to rising fuel costs. Now, the math says if you go there more than thrice it will be more expensive than bus fare home or a 500 ml plastic soda- yap, cost of living is going up!
A Camel's Memoir 