eating grass | A Camel's Memoir

Which doctor?

Sometimes things happen that make you just smile in absolute shock. And they happen in the most random of ways. The telephone has changed our lives so much. Not just socially but even in our professional dealings. Everyone has access to information at the touch of a button, you r clinician is also readily available at any time you wish. And this at times has led to patient doctor conflicts especially when you get calls at odd hours when you were trying to enjoy some rare uninterrupted sleep. Well, as things would have it, I did get an interesting phone call the other day. It was a crisp Monday morning, and the phone rang with an unidentified number. Over time, I have come to approach such numbers with some suspicion, but often it has turned out to be some long lost friend, or some urgent consult. So I took the call…

Unknown lady: Hello, is that the daktari? (doctor)

Me: er yes, who exactly did you want to speak to?

Lady: the daktari! you are not the daktari? What is your name? please tell me your name?

Me: err, Who exactly are you looking for?

Lady: you are not the doctor?

Me: ok lady, I don’t know who you are and what you want and you don’t seem to have a medical problem. I have to go now, unless you have a problem you want me to help you with

Lady: ok, don’t go, I have a knee problem.

Me: then please come to our facility, I will be more than happy to help you

Lady: actually, I have another problem

Me: ok, go ahead

Lady: I want some medicine

Me: ok

Lady: can you make people eat grass? You are not the doctor from western Kenya? I now you must be busy

Me: (shocked!!) say that again please?

Lady: yes, some young Man stole from my shop and I want to make them eat grass. Money is not the problem. When can I come?

Me: sorry, I can’t help you with that. How did you get my number? I treat actual patients with actual illnesses. I have to go now

Lady: please don’t go. I can pay, just tell me how much. They must eat grass and pay for their crime!!!

Me: Sorry, I have to go…(and hanged up)

Now, that was one explosive way to start the week! Which doctor or witch doctor? I know there have been reports in the news about strange things happening and people eating grass after stealing and even stranger ones of church members eating grass after their pastor told them to do so.

But never in my wildest imagination did I think I would get such a call. In retrospect, maybe I should have taken the opportunity to make some quick bucks and give them some placebo!!

And speaking of stealing things- such occurrences are the ones that make people get brought to the ER in the wee hours of the morning with arrow heads in their chests like the ones below.

Don’t be fooled- these innocent looking items leave a trail of destruction in their wake and keep more people up into the we hours extracting them.

Both these acts- making someone eat grass and maiming them with a bow and arrow are signs of ills that ail many a person in our society. There are matters that trouble the heart that make people want to take what is not theirs. For some it may not be a matter of choice, more so of survival. And it just makes me wonder just how many people go to hospital to treat actual ailments or just as a way to get a listening ear from a stranger who they probably will never see again.

Hidden treasures in nature:

Sometimes there’s more to things than meets the eye…